I dont mean to shed something as serious as immigration in a silly light, but this video makes me laugh every time and I hope you're able to relax and do the same!
Back From The Dead
11 years ago
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Toronto Craigslist Post of the Month!!!
You are a vision of a dream - m4w - 31 (Little Italy)
I saw you leaving a convenience store on College. You were untying your dog and swearing at the difficult knot that that it had made. You kicked the dog in frustration. Cruelty to animals is sexy.
Our eyes met as I passed with an older woman in a red coat. My mother, as it happens. I pulled her close to me and kissed her on the mouth to make you jealous, to make you wish that you were the one I was kissing.
Meet me this Friday in the middle of Trinity Bellwoods circle. I'll bring my mother for you to kick.
Our eyes met as I passed with an older woman in a red coat. My mother, as it happens. I pulled her close to me and kissed her on the mouth to make you jealous, to make you wish that you were the one I was kissing.
Meet me this Friday in the middle of Trinity Bellwoods circle. I'll bring my mother for you to kick.
- Location: Little Italy
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Monday, February 23, 2009
Marlon Brando at The Oscars
In 1973, Marlon Brando was awarded an Oscar for Best Actor for his role in The Godfather, a role which is possibly one of the best performances in movie history and certainly the one he'll forever be remembered for.
Proving once again that Brando was a man with balls, he refused to accept the award or even APPEAR at the awards and used the opportunity for massive exposure to send a very clear message to the world. His protest against the unfair treatment and portrayal of American Indians in the movie industry made a huge impact and could be considered a big factor for the end of the "cowboys and indians" style movies that many heartless actors made huge careers and bank accounts from.
I'm not into putting up huge posts but I'll leave you some links to check out:
An Oscar refused and Brando's Letter to Hollywood.
Proving once again that Brando was a man with balls, he refused to accept the award or even APPEAR at the awards and used the opportunity for massive exposure to send a very clear message to the world. His protest against the unfair treatment and portrayal of American Indians in the movie industry made a huge impact and could be considered a big factor for the end of the "cowboys and indians" style movies that many heartless actors made huge careers and bank accounts from.
I'm not into putting up huge posts but I'll leave you some links to check out:
An Oscar refused and Brando's Letter to Hollywood.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Little Known Facts About Dr. Seuss
In case you haven't read "The Lorax," it's widely recognized as Dr. Seuss' take on environmentalism and how humans are destroying nature. Loggers were so upset about the book that some groups within the industry sponsored "The Truax," a similar book -- but from the logging point of view. Another interesting fact: the book used to contain the line, "I hear things are just as bad up in Lake Erie," but 14 years after the book was published, the Ohio Sea Grant Program wrote to Seuss creator Theodore Geisel, and told him how much the conditions had improved and implored him to take the line out. Geisel agreed and said that it wouldn't be in future editions.
"If I Ran the Zoo," published in 1950, is the first recorded instance of the word "nerd."
"The Cat in the Hat" was written because Dr. Seuss thought the famous Dick and Jane primers were insanely boring. Because kids weren't interested in the material, they weren't exactly compelled to use it repeatedly in their efforts to learn to read. So, "The Cat in the Hat" was born.
Bennett Cerf, Dr. Seuss' editor, bet him that he couldn't write a book using 50 words or less. "The Cat in the Hat" was pretty simple, after all, and it used 225 words. Not one to back down from a challenge, Mr. Geisel started writing and came up with "Green Eggs and Ham" -- which uses exactly 50 words.
The 50 words, by the way, are: a, am, and, anywhere, are, be, boat, box, car, could, dark, do, eat, eggs, fox, goat, good, green, ham, here, house, I, if, in, let, like, may, me, mouse, not, on, or, rain, Sam, say, see, so, thank, that, the, them, there, they, train, tree, try, will, with, would, you.w
"Yertle the Turtle" = Hitler? Yep. If you haven't read the story, here's a little overview: Yertle is the king of the pond, but he wants more. He demands that other turtles stack themselves up so he can sit on top of them to survey the land. Mack, the turtle at the bottom, is exhausted. He asks Yertle for a rest; Yertle ignores him and demands more turtles for a better view.
Eventually, Yertle notices the moon and is furious that anything dare be higher than himself, and is about ready to call for more turtles when Mack burps. This sudden movement topples the whole stack, sends Yertle flying into the mud, and frees the rest of the turtles from their stacking duty.
Dr. Seuss actually said Yertle was a representation of Hitler. Despite the political nature of the book, none of that was disputed at Random House -- what was disputed was Mack's burp. No one had ever let a burp loose in a children's book before, so it was a little dicey. In the end, obviously, Mack burped.
"Oh The Places You'll Go" is the final Seuss book published before he passed away. Published in 1990, it sells about 300,000 copies every year because so many people give it to college and high school grads.
"If I Ran the Zoo," published in 1950, is the first recorded instance of the word "nerd."
"The Cat in the Hat" was written because Dr. Seuss thought the famous Dick and Jane primers were insanely boring. Because kids weren't interested in the material, they weren't exactly compelled to use it repeatedly in their efforts to learn to read. So, "The Cat in the Hat" was born.
Bennett Cerf, Dr. Seuss' editor, bet him that he couldn't write a book using 50 words or less. "The Cat in the Hat" was pretty simple, after all, and it used 225 words. Not one to back down from a challenge, Mr. Geisel started writing and came up with "Green Eggs and Ham" -- which uses exactly 50 words.
The 50 words, by the way, are: a, am, and, anywhere, are, be, boat, box, car, could, dark, do, eat, eggs, fox, goat, good, green, ham, here, house, I, if, in, let, like, may, me, mouse, not, on, or, rain, Sam, say, see, so, thank, that, the, them, there, they, train, tree, try, will, with, would, you.w
"Yertle the Turtle" = Hitler? Yep. If you haven't read the story, here's a little overview: Yertle is the king of the pond, but he wants more. He demands that other turtles stack themselves up so he can sit on top of them to survey the land. Mack, the turtle at the bottom, is exhausted. He asks Yertle for a rest; Yertle ignores him and demands more turtles for a better view.
Eventually, Yertle notices the moon and is furious that anything dare be higher than himself, and is about ready to call for more turtles when Mack burps. This sudden movement topples the whole stack, sends Yertle flying into the mud, and frees the rest of the turtles from their stacking duty.
Dr. Seuss actually said Yertle was a representation of Hitler. Despite the political nature of the book, none of that was disputed at Random House -- what was disputed was Mack's burp. No one had ever let a burp loose in a children's book before, so it was a little dicey. In the end, obviously, Mack burped.
"Oh The Places You'll Go" is the final Seuss book published before he passed away. Published in 1990, it sells about 300,000 copies every year because so many people give it to college and high school grads.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Band Members From Smashing Pumpkins, Cheap Trick and HANSON?? Form New Group
Los Angeles, CA (CNS) - Taylor Hanson of the siblings trio Hanson is joining Smashing Pumpkin's former guitarist James Iha, Cheap Trick's drummer Bun E. Carlos and Fountain of Wayne bassist Adam Schlesinger to form a new group called Tinted Windows.
The quartet have already recorded their debut album at the Stratosphere Sound Studios in New York, which Schlesinger and Iha co-own with Andy Chase of Ivy.
They will play their first major show at Billboard's South by Southwest showcase on March 20 at Pangaea in Austin, Texas.
The LP is set to hit the stores this spring on a label that is yet to be announced, Billboard reports.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Christian Bale Goes To The Dentist
The Christian Bale video was pretty damn funny.
The David goes to the Dentis video was really damn funny.
This video makes both of them look pathetic and boring.
I said this when I posted a picture of the greatest mullet ever caught on film and I'll now say it again. My friends, you are welcome!
The David goes to the Dentis video was really damn funny.
This video makes both of them look pathetic and boring.
I said this when I posted a picture of the greatest mullet ever caught on film and I'll now say it again. My friends, you are welcome!
This Week's Sign The Apocalypse Is Upon Us...
PARIS TO SIR PAUL: LET’S 'DUET' (haha....get it? Du-et??)
Paris Hilton reportedly cornered Sir Paul McCartney at a GRAMMY Awards after-show party last week with a special request. The socialite was reportedly overheard saying to the Beatles legend: “I’d love to do a duet with you. I’m a singer too and have had an album out.”
Paul, ever the gentleman, said he would consider the heiress’s offer, say reports.
A ‘onlooker’ told Britain’s Sun newspaper: Sir Paul was minding his own business when Paris traipsed right up to him and introduced herself. “He looked bemused, smiled and nodded - then stumbled out that he’d have to check his schedule.
“I don’t think we’ll be hearing the duet any time soon.”
Paris Hilton reportedly cornered Sir Paul McCartney at a GRAMMY Awards after-show party last week with a special request. The socialite was reportedly overheard saying to the Beatles legend: “I’d love to do a duet with you. I’m a singer too and have had an album out.”
Paul, ever the gentleman, said he would consider the heiress’s offer, say reports.
A ‘onlooker’ told Britain’s Sun newspaper: Sir Paul was minding his own business when Paris traipsed right up to him and introduced herself. “He looked bemused, smiled and nodded - then stumbled out that he’d have to check his schedule.
“I don’t think we’ll be hearing the duet any time soon.”
Friday, February 13, 2009
Speaking of Bullshit....
If we're not doused with bullshit enough throughout the course of a week from stupid things ranging from the Australian Open to Eddie The Prick (see my first post if you dont know what I'm talking about) we're now staring down the barrel of a double barreled shotgun of stupid. Still wondering what I'm talking about? Of course you are. I'll explain:
Barrel Numero Uno: Friday the 13th
- How superstitious are you if you actually believe something bad is going to happen to you today? Face the music sister, bad things happen to people all the time. If something bad happens to you today it's what doctors and medical professionals refer to as a coincidence.
- Do we really need another Friday the 13th movie? No, I wont provide a link of any kind. Not on my blog I say! I'm not even sure which number this is in the installment of movies from this particular chain but I can guarantee you that it'll be a complete waste of time. Has Hollywood forgotten about creativity or does the mass public just feel that there's nothing scarier than a villain we've already known for DECADES or a remake of a Japanese horror film? Nothing against the Japanese horror films, they're usually really damn good, but the horror lies in the quality of the remakes Hollyweird slap together. Terrible.
Barrel Numero Dos: Valentine's Day
I've got one point and one point only and that's if you need to be prompted by Hallmark to show affection to your spouse or loved ones then you're a failure of a human being. Period.
Bonus Round: Family Day
This just started last year. I didn't even hear about it until this year. As with Valentine's day, if you need to be prompted by ANYONE to spend time with your family, YOU ARE A FAILURE OF A HUMAN BEING! We dont need Family Day and, if we did, it should've been when it was warm outside so we could spend it in front of a BBQ with a cooler of beer. There can never be too many long weekends in the summer. I challenge anyone to contest this point.
Now, just to show you that I'm not just an angry guy wasting time at work behind a keyboard, here are two great videos from the interweb sent to me by a friend. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have! Hope you have an uneventful Friday the 13th, get laid on Valentine's Day (or at least get candy from your mother) and that you get something wonderful happening on Family Day because the bottom line is this: if you're going to throw these silly holidays at us we should exploit them and enjoy them as much as we can.
Billy Mays Dubbed:
Gary Busey on UFOs:
Barrel Numero Uno: Friday the 13th
- How superstitious are you if you actually believe something bad is going to happen to you today? Face the music sister, bad things happen to people all the time. If something bad happens to you today it's what doctors and medical professionals refer to as a coincidence.
- Do we really need another Friday the 13th movie? No, I wont provide a link of any kind. Not on my blog I say! I'm not even sure which number this is in the installment of movies from this particular chain but I can guarantee you that it'll be a complete waste of time. Has Hollywood forgotten about creativity or does the mass public just feel that there's nothing scarier than a villain we've already known for DECADES or a remake of a Japanese horror film? Nothing against the Japanese horror films, they're usually really damn good, but the horror lies in the quality of the remakes Hollyweird slap together. Terrible.
Barrel Numero Dos: Valentine's Day
I've got one point and one point only and that's if you need to be prompted by Hallmark to show affection to your spouse or loved ones then you're a failure of a human being. Period.
Bonus Round: Family Day
This just started last year. I didn't even hear about it until this year. As with Valentine's day, if you need to be prompted by ANYONE to spend time with your family, YOU ARE A FAILURE OF A HUMAN BEING! We dont need Family Day and, if we did, it should've been when it was warm outside so we could spend it in front of a BBQ with a cooler of beer. There can never be too many long weekends in the summer. I challenge anyone to contest this point.
Now, just to show you that I'm not just an angry guy wasting time at work behind a keyboard, here are two great videos from the interweb sent to me by a friend. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have! Hope you have an uneventful Friday the 13th, get laid on Valentine's Day (or at least get candy from your mother) and that you get something wonderful happening on Family Day because the bottom line is this: if you're going to throw these silly holidays at us we should exploit them and enjoy them as much as we can.
Billy Mays Dubbed:
Gary Busey on UFOs:
Music Video = Artistic? OMG WTF!?
There's too many crappy music videos out there that are just simple marketing tools. So many bands release videos that offer the viewer nothing new and are generally pretty boring and I was blown away to see a video for a song called Tonto by a band called Battles. Not only is this video interesting to the point that it escapes time but its an artistic extension of the song giving the viewer an even more intense experience than the listener might get.
A Battles collaboration with celebrated light artists UVA (United Visual Artists), produced by Warp Films (This Is England, Rubber Johnny, Dead Mans Shoes etc.).
Just watch the damn video!!!
A Battles collaboration with celebrated light artists UVA (United Visual Artists), produced by Warp Films (This Is England, Rubber Johnny, Dead Mans Shoes etc.).
Just watch the damn video!!!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Live Nation to acquire Ticketmaster for $2.5 billion, plus $700 million in convenience charges.
So Live Nation is buying Ticketmaster! No, they're not REALLY paying a $700m service charge in this deal (never know who will actually believe that). What does this mean? Hell if I know, I'm not 'in the know' on this type of thing. But I'm sure both companies will continue to operate separately and metaphorically violate you at every opportunity while making a hefty profit for a bunch of silver-haired douchebags sitting around a table made out of a single piece of wood from a tree that was 700 years old who have never even heard of the bands being promoted and probably couldn't care less either.
I've also heard that TicketsNOW, an offshoot of Ticketmaster which scalped its own tickets to high-profile events, is being sued by 'somebody'. The reality of this actually succeeding if it can beat the team of incredibly-priced lawyers probably on retainer for Live Nation/Ticketmaster [am I the first blog to officially acknowledge this new company in writing?] is almost as real as Pam Anderson's chesticles. While people bitched about ticket prices on TicketsNOW, they all paid the price. This is called CONSENT and is most likely a technical waiver of liability. While I doubt Ticketmaster will continue scalping their own tickets after a blaze of negative press I know that they wont be successfully sued, other than in the case of the Bruce Springsteen tickets which had the company give the excess money back to the buyer....but that was so "The Boss" didn't shit a brick and refuse to perform.
REALITY CHECK:
As long as we all continue to download music for free, we'll be paying out the ass for ticket prices since bands are run as a BUSINESS and look to recoup lost revenue from shitty CD sales by charging more for concerts. Luckily, with higher ticket prices comes a higher level of expectation for entertainment. Yes, I say that means we should all be throwing the bottles of water we paid $7 for at the stage if the band is half-assing it. Of course touring is hard, but suck it up pretty boys (and girls), you play music for a living. Your search for sympathy is futile.
End rant.
I've also heard that TicketsNOW, an offshoot of Ticketmaster which scalped its own tickets to high-profile events, is being sued by 'somebody'. The reality of this actually succeeding if it can beat the team of incredibly-priced lawyers probably on retainer for Live Nation/Ticketmaster [am I the first blog to officially acknowledge this new company in writing?] is almost as real as Pam Anderson's chesticles. While people bitched about ticket prices on TicketsNOW, they all paid the price. This is called CONSENT and is most likely a technical waiver of liability. While I doubt Ticketmaster will continue scalping their own tickets after a blaze of negative press I know that they wont be successfully sued, other than in the case of the Bruce Springsteen tickets which had the company give the excess money back to the buyer....but that was so "The Boss" didn't shit a brick and refuse to perform.
REALITY CHECK:
As long as we all continue to download music for free, we'll be paying out the ass for ticket prices since bands are run as a BUSINESS and look to recoup lost revenue from shitty CD sales by charging more for concerts. Luckily, with higher ticket prices comes a higher level of expectation for entertainment. Yes, I say that means we should all be throwing the bottles of water we paid $7 for at the stage if the band is half-assing it. Of course touring is hard, but suck it up pretty boys (and girls), you play music for a living. Your search for sympathy is futile.
End rant.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Welcome To Hip Flasks (a welcome note in B sharp)
Not too much time right now as the boss is breathing down my neck....
I have a boss that breathes down my neck. I call him Eddie the Prick and he's one of those guys that demands you call him by his full name: Edward. So you might say that the source of my inspiration for this blog partly stems from my hatred for Eddie the Prick. I'm sure you all have someone like Eddie; a boss, a teacher, a parent, a spouse. I write and post for you all and hope that Hip Flasks, even in a metaphorical state, can help get you through your day.
The second root of this blog comes from all the links my crazy friends send me, the strange things I find on the internet and the interesting things I encounter at some point or another while living in the twisted city of Toronto. I'll randomly be posting up stories from this city as well as many of the others I've visited, along with links to some of the best I've seen on internet video.
For now, I hope you're laughing at how funny David is after the dentist, crying at how shitty of a movie Notorious ended up being or puzzled at how little you care about Michael Phelps hitting the bong.
I have a boss that breathes down my neck. I call him Eddie the Prick and he's one of those guys that demands you call him by his full name: Edward. So you might say that the source of my inspiration for this blog partly stems from my hatred for Eddie the Prick. I'm sure you all have someone like Eddie; a boss, a teacher, a parent, a spouse. I write and post for you all and hope that Hip Flasks, even in a metaphorical state, can help get you through your day.
The second root of this blog comes from all the links my crazy friends send me, the strange things I find on the internet and the interesting things I encounter at some point or another while living in the twisted city of Toronto. I'll randomly be posting up stories from this city as well as many of the others I've visited, along with links to some of the best I've seen on internet video.
For now, I hope you're laughing at how funny David is after the dentist, crying at how shitty of a movie Notorious ended up being or puzzled at how little you care about Michael Phelps hitting the bong.
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